Wednesday, February 03, 2010

Who's Invited???

When we 1st started planning the wedding I made a guest list of everyone on my side that would be invited to the wedding... and now that it's time to starting figuring out who makes the cut.. I am a little stressed. Originally we made an agreement of the TOTAL # being 175 that includes US and BP. I began to think about how to divide this number up. I wanted to do a DW however FI did not. I wanted a small intimate wedding with close friends and family and puff your done. Well he wanted to invite everyone he has ever known and people he does not even know so I think in his mind if we could have 500+ people he would do it.

My perspective of it is that weddings are an intimate moment b/w a man and a woman and I think that the only people who should witness this are people that will be there for you through your marriage and through life period. I just feel like it's about the man and woman and your Creator. I think that marriage is sacred and I feel that a wedding should only involve people in your "inner circle" so with that said I really didn't want to have a bridal party or any children attendants. Just me and him and the officiant would have been cool with me. But FI wanted his friends to be in the wedding so we negotiated and kept our attendants under 6 so I am cool with that. I digress....

After reading a few articles on guest lists and how to divide and conquer I found this one insightful.....

A factor that will come into play when creating your guest list is who’s footing the bill. If your parents are major financial contributors, then naturally they’ll have more say in who to invite. If you’re paying for the majority of your wedding you will have more control of the guest list.
Some questions to ask yourself when creating your guest list:
- Who are the important people in our lives?- Is it necessary to invite co-workers?- Are we including guests simply out of guilt? (i.e. They invited you to their weddings.)- Are we including guests that we haven’t seen within the last year?- What if a guest does not have a significant other. Are we allowing guests to bring dates?- Do we want to invite children?- What about extended family? Is it necessary to invite second cousins and great auntsI

At this present time no kids unless they or their parents are in the BP. No guests for the singles. He and I with the help of our parents are footing the bill.

I think that we are going to divide the total # by 3 in our case I'm going to use 180.
180/3=60 people for the parents ( mine and his) and 60 people for US.
I plan to take OUR 60 and subtract 30 ( 60-30=30)
The 30 is for BP + guests
That will leave us 30 remaining to split in half (30/2=15)
That will leave us 15 guests a piece...

That's perfect for me for a few of my classmates. But FI may need a more!

How did you decide on your guest list???


  1. We're not there yet but I can already tell it's going to be hard to cut people. We are trying to keep it at 75. Some not being able to come from out of state will cut numbers though. Sounds like you have come up with a great formula.

  2. The guest list was truly a a stressful and tiring task. FH and I knew we were on a budget and had to think about that to keep things in a realistic perspective. I knew that I wanted my guests to eat good, have fun and I wanted it to feel as intimate as possible. We knew we couldn't afford to feed 200 people a gourmet dinner. I think that is why we ultimately chose to keep our guest list around 100 guests. We kept it at close family members and friends we see daily. Each of us invited a couple of high school friends that we stayed in email contact with.